Hey – I made a new issue of PIZZA. It’s kinda small, but features:
- An interview with Trash Kit
- A kind of interview with Minotaur Shock
- An Ace Bushy Striptease timeline
- Nice pictures
Buy it from BANDCAMP
Dear Contestants,
We have been totally overwhelmed here at the PIZZA HQ by the fantastic response we’ve had to this week’s competition. It seems there are a lot of Disney fans out there eager to get their teeth stuck into a piece of the pizza. So without further ado, here are the results you are itching to hear….
The winner is……………………….
…………………………..
……………….
……
PETRA! With a breath-taking TEN OUT OF TEN! WOAH! An amazing prize will be whizzing it’s way to you in… oh, i don’t know… a couple of weeks (but rest assured IT DOES EXIST)
In at joint second are Angus and Troy with a fantastic 9 out of ten.
Everyone else got SIX (spooky), but well done for trying.
The answers are as follows:
1. The Lion King
2. The Rescuers
3. the one a lot of people struggled with- MULAN (the emperor’s sword and the lucky cricket in a cage)
yeah?
4. Aladdin
5. Princess and the Frog- extra kudos for anyone who got this since it is so new
6. Beauty and the Beast
7. Cinderella
8. The Little Mermaid
9. The Aristocats
10. Basil the Great Mouse Detective
Thanks to everyone who entered and better luck next time if you didn’t win!
Love and kisses,
your Great Aunty Frannigan
In this week’s PIZZA! DELIVERY:
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1.
This is something, then: I was walking along the pavement next to the road. And on the road there was a van.
The van was of the mucky type – the kind of mucky van on which mucky people write muck.
Filth, they write on filthy vans, those filth. But these was different. On the van, scribed in anti-dirt, was this:
SUPPORT COMIC RELIEF
TXT ‘DESERT’ TO 70011
£1 PER TEXT
MARCH 18TH AT LATEST
Those were not filth, those who from the filthy muck had unearthed gold. Gold for charity.
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2.
Last week resident art-head Frannigan Crushaw expended great time and effort creating a Studio Ghibli pictogram, hiding motifs from ten classic anime films for your picking-out pleasure. We: kind PIZZA staff, offered an unnamed yet undoubtedly valuable prize. You mustered up six entries, with scores ranging from the disgusting bad to the disgustingly good. And Miss Kasumi Sugita one the inaugural Frannigan Crushaw Trophy, with Angus and Shoko both a close second.
Lady Frannigan returns to us this week with another beauty: this week find ten Disney films represented in the image below! Again, there’s a magical, exclusive prize up for grabs, so get looking (click the image for a bigger version), and email your answers to macaulaythunder@gmail.com or Facebook the relevant persons. The deadline for entry is whenever we say it is – so hurry up!
Ten films are enclosed in this magical swirl
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3.
Beauty of our job here: we listen to music.
Beauty of your time here: you listen to music.
The band The Memories, singing ‘He’s Just A Sad Guy’. No idea about anything about them really, ‘cept they’re on Gnar Tapes, and you buy their tape here: http://gnartapesandshit.com/shop.html
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4.
Editor-in-Chief Macaulay Thunder’s trip to Capitol City was not without its moments of drama. For a special prize, tell us, good viewer, WHAT FAMOUS BUILDING IS THIS???
Consider also:
How many doors might this building have?
If we add up the numbers on these doors, what number do we have?
Why might a building need several doors?
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5.
“PIZZA #2″, they cry! “PIZZZAAA TWWWWOOO!!!” And I cry back: “IT’S COMING SOON!” … “I’m just deciding whether it should come in the form of a paper aeroplane, or whether I should hand-write each copy on a roll of toilet paper” … “thoughts?”
(And to those who cry “PIZZA ONE! We never got our copy of PIZZA ONE!”, I cry: “SORRY! It’s in the post!!” … “or will be soon!”)
Dear Competitors,
Thanks to all those who participated in this week’s competition. I can now tell you that the winner of the Ghibli Quiz, with an incredible score of 9 out of 10, is KASUMI SUGITA!!!!!
In second place is Shoko who named 9 films correctly but in the wrong order (I think this was an administrative error)
In third place is Angus Ricks, scoring an impressive 8.
Joel scored a respectable 7.
Lisa managed an almost as respectable 7.5.
Troy it’s a 5 – a good attempt.
(Maybe these results should be confidential, I may have infringed upon the data protection act… oh well)
Well done to everyone, a prize will be on its way soon to Kasumi Sugita, and since Shoko was very close, perhaps a little something for her too.
Don’t forget to enter next week when the theme will be Disney films!
TTFN! XX
P.S the correct answer were as follows
in at number one (the order is in the order of my personal favourites for anyone who is interested….) we have Spirited Away- what a classic!
2 was Kiki’s Delivery Service
3 Whisper of the Heart
4 Grave of the Fireflies
5 Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea (Ed: several people confused this with Earthsea – but the art style gives it away I think)
6 My Neighbour Totoro
7 Pom Poko
8 Howl’s Moving Castle
9 (and the most vague of all the pictures that no one got) Only Yesterday
10 Princess Mononoke
I have never seen Earthsea so if anyone wants to lend me it- yay ♥
In our weekly pop culture digest, the PIZZA staff cull the best of the flock and deliver it still bleeding on a square plate. Get your weekly bloodlust satisfaction straight into your inbox by emailing ‘subscribe’ to the email address macaulaythunder@gmail.com
SHORT BUT SWEET THIS WEEK:
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≥Pick japanese emblems
Art director and singer-songwriter Frannigan Crushaw has devoted forty-five minutes of her time to designing a jaw-dropping swirl of art, which is visible now alongside the writing that you simultaneously see. What is special about this art-swirl, however, is that it contains within it highly-memorable icons of no less than TEN films from the Studio Ghibli roster. Your job, in order to win a prize that cannot be described either through words or pictures, and cannot be held or even considered for more than two-thousands of a second, is to NAME THOSE FILMS! Stick them in the comments here, and either cooperatively or pig-headedly selfishly, all will come to light.
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≥Young intern Alexis MacLantern takes the stand in his new weekly feature “Forever Young”
An older person than Me: “The problem with the internet is that because you can hear any song whenever you want, songs totally lose their mystique. When records were hard to find, it gave them a special importance and so we treasured them more.”
Me: “I’ve not heard this song anywhere but YouTube, but YOU TELL ME I DON’T TREASURE IT LIKE THE CHILDREN I’M NOT SURE IF I WANT TO HAVE:
“
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≥PIZZA chief Macaulay Thunder with some important news
Hiya gang. As part of my work outside PIZZA (what?), I have been called upon to assist in curating a once-in-a-lifetime exhibition at the O3 gallery in Oxford. This exhibition is to specialise in hand-made, self-released editions of music, and will run from 25th March – 24th April. This exhibition is the reason why I speak to you now. If you are (or your friend is) a musician who believes that their work is somehow hand-made, wonderfully-packaged, or in some way interestingly self-released, then it would save me a great deal of trouble if you would email my team of secretaries at macaulaythunder@gmail.com. Otherwise, you see, I might be forced to actively research, wasting valuable initiative that could otherwise be spent ensuring PIZZA remains the least informative webzine in the home counties. Ta, M.T. x
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≥“Satellite City” – Orange Juice
I can remember the halcyon days / We leapt on stage / Though we couldn’t play / Furthermore we had nothing to say
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In this new irregular feature, PIZZA super-editor Macaulay Thunder attempts to compile a definitive list of the world’s top 100 bands of the past, present and future. He begins with his choice for The Best Band Of All Time:
The first time I heard the band Heatwave, I was seven years old, and barely old enough to distinguish third-rate euro-funk from the real deal. But even then, as in the back seat of my dad’s turquoise Vauxhall Cavalier (the registration was G950 EOJ), and absorbed, consumed, devoured, the sleek, super-tight funk of “Boogie Nights”, I knew that Heatwave were something special.
These days I am entirely convinced that Heatwave are a band from the future, who use future technology to insert themselves into moments of the past. There is no other explanation for their prodigious talent and songwriting nous. These days they frequently put their records in charity shops, where for the monetary equivalent of about twenty-minutes work you can own a percentage of the output of the World’s Greatest Band.
There is a lot of talk of authenticity in pop and rock music culture. There is a widely-held belief that certain types of music belong in certain places, or in the hands of certain types of people. The beauty of Heatwave is that they shit all over that. Lead songwriter Rod Temperton (not only the genius behind “Boogie Nights” and “The Groove Line”, but also composer of Micheal Jackson’s “Thriller”, “Rock With You”, plus more) created effortless lite-funk-classics, despite hailing from what looks like quite possibly the crappest town in the UK, and looking like the last man you would want to see getting sexy on the dance-floor:
Rod Temperton in his funky prime
I’m not saying there is a problem with Heatwave, because there isn’t. They are a non-problematic band. But it could be argued that all of their hit singles essentially share the same formula, tempo, style, instrumentation, etc. However, I don’t think it is Rod Temperton’s fault that he naturally, instinctively writes unstoppable disco-funk.
Oh, and if you are thinking “sure, great studio band, but I bet they can’t cut it live”…. you should not think that, it’s untrue. Check out this live cut of “Ain’t No Half Steppin’” (it’s definitely live…. I’m sorry if you are too stunned to believe that):
So there. Heatwave take the top spot on my list of The World’s Best Bands. Check out this blog some time in the future to see who’s in the runners-up spot.
1. HEATWAVE
2. (tbc)
In a new, (sometimes) weekly feature, we (the PIZZA staff) bring you (the PIZZA digester) all the latest from PIZZA HQ, in what we like to call: PIZZA DELIVERY!
THIS WEEK:
The calendar features a number of different shaped days, mainly poorly designed and almost impossible to write in
We kick off the delivery this week with an ultra-secret look at the projects that keep the grossly over-staffed PIZZA Art Complex from working on the long-overdue PIZZA #2. Over the past three weeks, Art Editor Geoffrey Monsignor has been presiding over a new PIZZA product: a highly limited-edition PIZZA calendar!!!
The calendar comes complete with an Assessment schedule for 3rd year, 2nd semester English and Music modules at Brookes
Geoffrey takes up the story: “It’s been a long process for sure, but it’s finally finished. The first official PIZZA calendar covers from 1st February – 8th May 2011 (inclusive), and is specially tailored for Oxford Brookes third-year undergraduate English/Music joint-honours students. It’s a niche audience, but we have pretty much 100% market control. This is something we could definitely scale up if budget allows, as the old phrase goes: there’s plenty more days in the sea!”
The limited-edition PIZZA calendar comes in an edition of one, retails at £299.95, and is now SOLD OUT. Please contact macaulaythunder@gmail.com with any inquiries.
Rade has kindly created a mis-shapen star from icing sugar on the surface of the cake
PIZZA’s resident chef has been hard at work this week, and his/her PIZZA du resistance (!) arrived shortly after 3.40am Tuesday, in the form of a squat, cylindrical sponge cake. “It’s essentially a play on the classic Victoria sponge,” he/she said, “but with blackberry jam, and an almond-and-rose buttercream.”
Sadly, the cake was put in the fridge, and the next day it smelt and tasted of parsley and garlic
“The recipe is adapted from this faultless lemon sponge at Parsley Soup, but replacing the lemony stuff with a bit of vanilla essence in the sponge (I just used what was left in the bottle, but this is probably not a good rule-of-thumb), and some almond essence and rosewater in the butter-cream (a few drops). Also, put some blackberry jam on the inside of the cake as well.”
Thanks Rade!
C'est magnifique, non?
Resident music stalwart Paul Moribund offers you now the chance to forget yourself, and forget your future as we go BACK, BACK, BACK….with Paul Moribund’s Archive of Sound and Music Archive……
“In early February 2011, I was casually ram-raiding my local CLIC Sergant charity shop, when amongst the smashed glass, scattered jigsaw pieces and hairline-fractured plates, I saw in my peripheral vision a record, with artwork of the most beautiful kind. I stashed it in my swag-bag, and it wasn’t until the following evening, when I was trying to wash the blood-stains of the elderly from my trenchcoat, that I again saw that ephemeral disk, and could not help but put down the Vanish and play on this mysterious recording.
If anyone speaks whatever language is spoken in the song, please send a translation to PIZZA HQ. So far we have made out the words" football" and "centre-forward"
“What you are about to hear, dear reader, is the B-Side of that record, entitled “Il Football”. The reverse of the record contains this description:
Composed by Lourdes Bonnici with lyrics by Albert M. Cassola, this is a lovely original song of a spectator who gets over excited about the goal and his favourite player.
Sometimes, words by someone else can say more than my words ever can.
This week it’s been hard to last five minutes in the PIZZA office without hearing the soothing strains of Anton Karas’ zither eminating from sub-editor-in-deputy-chief Geoffrey Monsignor’s tinny laptop speakers. So that music, with the accompanying video from Carol Reed’s canonical movie The Third Man is what we offer you here to watch: (A prodigious performance of the piece arranged for guitar is equally captivating.)
Having now been witness to (almost) the entirity of the inaugural PIZZA DELIVERY!, you would be forgiving for thinking that your day’s raptourous joy must be approaching its inevitable end. But wait: the joy may continue for eternity, if you SUBSCRIBE to the PIZZA DELIVERY! mailing list! A stitch in time saves nine, they say, and sending an email now can bring you (sometimes) weekly capsules of insider PIZZA info, as well as the latest pop news and fashion, for ALL TIME. Just email PIZZA with the title ‘subscribe’.
Until next time,
PIZZA OUT! (peace out)
Twelve page full-colour zine containing:
…and much much more!
Order now from Bandcamp, and get a free download of TRUST FUND’s debut single Grow Some.
